John 1:38
At Monday’s noon service (8/28/23), Bishop taught from John 1 when Jesus asked, “What do you seek?” and told them, “Come and see.” He talked about the kind of life Jesus calls us to join, a life filled with joy in every moment and in every situation, even Mondays. It sounded great, and I knew it was true, but I also knew I was not experiencing joy. I was not accepting God’s invitation to join Him in His joy-filled life and had no clue how I had gotten to this place. I’ve watched Bishop over the last year walk in more and more joy, so I know it’s possible, and I want to experience it, but I wasn’t sure where I had gone so very wrong.
God started talking to me about what I had been seeking in a set of circumstances in which I find myself. He said, “You don’t want to be joyful in the midst of how things are; you want things to change and be different.” That went straight to the heart of the matter like a sharp knife! The cut was quick and accurate, making it clear that I had not been seeking joy in the midst but wanted the circumstances to change, which I thought would then change what I was experiencing.
It was painless at first as my spirit was beginning to grab hold of the truth that I could be joyful in the midst without the circumstances changing. But as it started to sink in, it stung because I had to look honestly at my fleshly desires and choices. In my flesh, I had already tried to change how I felt, thought, and behaved, so I knew beyond any shadow of doubt that I wasn’t able to do that alone. Now, that’s great to see if you turn to God in utter dependence, but it’s disastrous if you let your flesh do the talking. I had chosen to listen to my flesh and had locked into this one idea of what would solve it all; if there was just someone who would come along to change part of the situation and “help” me make the right choices, I could get to a better place.
It’s not a terrible thought, but it is fraught with huge traps, which I so easily fell into! I was looking, with no success, I might add, for a human being instead of really leaning into God and all He offers. This led to me discovering that no such person existed in my sphere. This led to the thought, “Maybe God will send one.” But I realized that wasn’t happening, which led to disappointment, discouragement, and the temptation to despair. WOW! Just as Bishop said in the previous Monday’s teaching (8/21/23), I had to work really hard to get myself so far from the joy, peace, and hope there is in Christ. But there I was!
I’ll share more of what God is showing me in another post, but for now, I hope you are challenged to ask the question, “What do you seek?” and let yourself explore the honest answer.
Blessings, Karen