In the days of her affliction and homelessness Jerusalem remembers…when her people fell into the hand of the adversary and no one helped her. … She did not consider her future. Lamentations 1:7, 9
On June 23, 2021, Bishop’s noon teaching was about dreams and memories. He said, “When memories are more powerful than dreams, you are in captivity, and you no longer take risks and you stop daring. … Dreams have to be bigger than our memories, or we are frozen.”
The word “frozen” really caught my attention because a couple of days prior, I found myself standing in the middle of my kitchen completely unable to decide what I should do with broken mirror pieces. I had taped the sharp edges but needed to dispose of them safely. I was weighing my options and would almost take a step to get a box or another container but then didn’t. I literally couldn’t decide this simple thing and found myself just frozen there, unable to move forward. I eventually decided to put off disposing of them.
How did I get to this point? I had been pondering how I used to tackle any project without hesitation, but now (especially post-Covid-19) hesitate more than I act. Therefore, after being indecisive and missing the opportunity to buy butcher block countertops for my kitchen at a fantastic price, I decided I needed to DO something, anything, to get out of this stuck place filled with uncertainty and hesitation. I came across the idea to put a mirror behind your stove as a backsplash and thought that would be a great look for my kitchen. I found a beveled mirror at Home Depot for less than $14 that was almost perfect; I only needed one side to be 3 inches shorter. The ones online that were the right size were $60 and up. So, in the spirit of regaining my “I can” attitude, I bought the mirror and a glass cutter, knowing there was a 95% chance of me busting up the mirror. I came close to success, but I cracked a large part of one corner off in my effort to make it just a little bit better. So now, there I was with a useless mirror but feeling OK because at least I had given it a try.
Next, I leaned the broken mirror up against the wall behind my range top to see how it would look specifically in my kitchen. Yep, I loved it! So, I decided I would buy another mirror and try one more time to cut it. Then as I moved the mirror around, I accidentally discovered that my range hood had just enough space behind it for the mirror to slide up there. So, I could put the mirror up without having to cut it!! I just needed to take the hood out, put the mirror up, and then put the hood back in. Now, that I have done before, minus the mirror part, so I knew it was a doable project… and I wouldn’t even have to try to cut the mirror again!
Here’s the interesting thing. I wouldn’t have discovered the idea for the mirror if I hadn’t seen the butcher block countertop sale. And I wouldn’t have found a way of putting the inexpensive mirror up if I had not tried cutting the mirror and then putting the “failed experiment” up to that wall space. So the “mess-ups” were just a part of the journey to get me where I need to go. And where I need to go is not a place or an end goal; I needed to dream again. I need to shake off captivity of mind, body, and spirit and start risking and daring again; to begin to live abundantly in Christ again.