I drive a 2004 Toyota Corolla that I bought very used several years back. The hood and roof had worn paint and rust spots from living outdoors in the intense Florida sun. There was damage to the front bumper, so a friend bolted the bumper up for me on the driver’s side near the wheel well. There was also a square indent right in the center of the front bumper, and I had to use metal tape to keep the wheel well flap from hitting the tire because it no longer had a place to attach. BUT, it was in great running condition, and the interior was clean. It was, has been, and continues to be a perfect car for me to use for commuting. In the years I have driven it, the paint has worn all the more, the rust has become more prominent, and I now have damage on the driver’s side rear bumper and panel.
If you look at my car from the passenger’s side or the rear, you would say it’s in good shape for a vehicle that age that doesn’t live in a garage. But, if you look from the driver’s side or the front, you might say it’s an old, beat-up car. Depending on the angle you look at it from, you have a very different assessment. But as I sat in my car, I realized that when I am inside my car I am quite content with it and it serves me well. The inside is in surprisingly good shape and it is comfortable for me.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, God kept drawing my attention to my mixed emotions and jumbled thoughts about my car which are easily changed depending on my line of site. When I asked Him what He was trying to get me to see, it became clear to me that my life is like that. From some angles, it looks OK, but from others, my dents, defects, and wear-and-tear are blatant. Some damage was done early on when someone else had stewardship for my life, and some has been done on my watch. It all has had an impact on me and may impact how others perceive me.
Sometimes they are looking at my “best side” and all I can see is the driver’s side. Other times, I only want to look at my “good side,” but my “bad side” is all that is showing to those around me. Neither is the whole picture and God is not looking at any side but the inside.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God does not see as man sees, since man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
I’m so glad that God looks at my heart and not at all my mistakes and wounded reactions. I just need to be continually reminded that through my eyes, human eyes, I’m never going to have an accurate assessment of myself or anyone else. Only through God’s eyes can I even hope to know who I really am or who anyone else really is. This is not a skill that improves with time and practice. It’s impossible to see accurately except when I’m looking at anyone, any situation, or myself through God’s eyes. I can’t even get close when I try to look through my eyes from “His perspective”. My eyes are dim but His are full of light. But in Christ, He grants me the miraculous honor of seeing through His eyes if I will but ask.