Ephesians 5:1-2 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us. We are called to be imitators of God and walk in love which is explained further by saying Christ loved and gave Himself up for us. Ephesians give the husband as the example in 5:25 but we know from 5:1-2 that the love and give yourself up part applies to all Christians. So what is this giving up of one’s self really about? I have heard teaching about a selfless lifestyle and a life of service but it seems to me there must be more to it. We know that Jesus literally gave Himself up for us by dying on the Cross so I thought that was probably the best place to start.
Jesus’ love drove Him to die on the Cross. Why? Because I was separated from God and had no hope of finding my way back. What did Jesus dying on the Cross accomplish? FORGIVENESS!! Past, Present and Future. So doesn’t giving up of one’s self have to have something to do with forgiveness? I think it must. So maybe we could think of Ephesians 5:1-2 more like this: Therefore as God’s children be like Him; walk in love like Christ, love that moves you to sacrifice yourself so that others experience forgiveness, that is an offering and sacrifice that is a fragrant aroma to God.
Forgiveness always costs us something and at times way more that we think we can handle. But Jesus paid enough to cover that cost, too. He did not just die for my sins but for all the sins against me. That means that whatever the cost to me to forgive, Jesus has already paid more than enough to cover the cost. I have already been paid in full for whatever it is that I sacrifice to forgive another person, or even myself. There is enough so I can, in Christ, handle forgiving. When I agree to receive on my behalf the price Christ paid for my sin, I also agree to receive payment in full for all the sins anyone has ever or will ever sin against me. That then also means that there isn’t a single thing that anyone can do to me or take from me that can cause me to be anything less that completely whole with an abundant life. It’s really quite mind blowing and humbling. There is NO excuse at all for me not forgiving. I have enough.
Ephesians5:25 speaks of “giving himself up” in the context of marriage. The usual marriage vows have something like this in them: …to live together after God s ordinance in the Holy Estate of Matrimony? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others keep you only unto her as long as you both shall live? …to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish forever, according to God s Holy Ordinance, and thereto I give thee my pledge.
The giving up of one’s self is implied in the love forever and the better or worse, but it seems these days maybe we might need to spell it out a bit. What if spouses acknowledged up front that they knew each other would fail but pledged to forgive it right then on their wedding day, making their wedding day a divide in their history, like the Cross. Maybe we could add something like: “I, _____, I forgive you, right here and now, for every thoughtless or sinful act, word, or thought that has, is, and/or will cause me pain, harm, inconvenience, annoyance, or cost of any kind”? Isn’t that what it looks like to love just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her? Just something to think about.