John 11:21,32,36-37 ESV
Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. [32] Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” [36] So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” [37] But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?” [38] So Jesus, again being deeply moved within came to the tomb…
Jesus was extremely close to Martha, Mary, and Lazarus. It had to have been quite the shock to Martha and Mary when, after sending word to Jesus about Lazarus’s sickness, He did not immediately come and prevent their brother from dying. When Jesus finally did come, both Martha and Mary pointedly remarked to Jesus that if He had come sooner, their brother would not have died. Were they angry? I doubt it, but they were certainly hurt and possibly offended. What fascinates me is that the incarnate Son of Man did not get defensive in response. He was not offended by the fact that they questioned Him. You might say, “Well, of course not! He is Jesus.” It is important to remember that He was tempted in every way like us, and therefore, I am sure, in His humanity, He was tempted to be offended and to get defensive, but He didn’t because He doesn’t. When some of the Jews also questioned why He had not healed Lazarus, when just recently He had healed a man born blind, Jesus again did not get offended or become defensive. He wept with Mary and, after the remark by the Jews verse 38 says He was deeply moved again, not because He was hurt with Martha and Mary or the accusing Jews, but because He was hurt for them. This is the way of Christ. This is the life that Jesus lives, and you and I have been grafted into that holy life. If Jesus is your life, and Colossians 3:4 says He is, and if He is living His life through you, then you won’t live an offended life or defensive one because Jesus doesn’t get defensive or live offended with people. Instead, Jesus gets offended for people and the brokenness the enemy is oppressing them with. He hurts for offensive people because their brokenness breaks His heart. This is the life that He offers you if you will abide in Him. It’s not about you trying to not get offended, or you trying to not be defensive. Instead, it’s about in childlike trust surrendering to His life within, and His way of living.