Loss was never meant to be something God intended for us to experience, though in light of the Fall, He uses it to deposit treasures in our lives if we let Him. Whether through breakup, relocation, betrayal, or death, losing someone who is now no longer part of your story can be one of the most painful things a human being experiences.
(Song of Solomon 8:5)
“Who is this coming up from the wilderness Leaning on her beloved?”
Whenever you suffer a loss, it is a unique kind of wilderness experience that you have to walk through alone, even if you’re surrounded by caring people. The very nature of wilderness carries a reality of a kind of loneliness. It is really a unique “you and Jesus time” because in the wilderness of loss, you learn that being sustained is utterly dependent on leaning on your Beloved Jesus. Though the wilderness has a sense of barrenness, you and Jesus flourish there like never before, no matter how close you have been in the past. They asked the question about Shulamite, “Who is this coming up from the wilderness…” The result of the wilderness journey was that she was unrecognizable. She wasn’t who she used to be, this one coming up out Leaning on her Beloved. It seemed as if she and her beloved came out as one. The righteous restraint of loss always results in divine deposits that transform us. The wilderness has a beginning and an end. Though you may know an element of loneliness in the wilderness of loss, you aren’t alone. Your true Beloved, the great love of your life, is there, one with you, taking every step in union with each step you take. He’s not there to walk beside you or to help you. Instead, he is there at one with you, participating in your journey. Just keep moving, one step, one day at a time, abiding in Christ, and you will COME UP OUT of the wilderness immersed in Christ. Even though there may be someone who’s not part of your story anymore, the very journey through the wilderness with Christ reminds you that your story isn’t over, even though the enemy tried to tell you it was. No, your story isn’t over, it’s just that their part in your story is over, but His (Jesus) part never is. The fact that the wilderness is painful is undeniable, but the glory deposited in us through these momentary light afflictions carries a transcending value. It has been 163 days since Olivia stepped through the veil into the unfiltered presence of the great “love of her life.” I am here, not left behind, but left to finish my story in Christ, “Leaning on my Beloved.” I have to say this wilderness of loss has been both more painful and more glorious than I was prepared for. I’m so grateful, though, that He was ready for this journey, and since He is “The Way,” I am grateful for this journey in Him.