I, Karen, have had the honor of knowing a couple who have truly experienced “the two shall become one (Matt. 19:5)” and who could not imagine anything except being together “until death do us part.” They really were in union with each other. When one of them was dying, the surviving spouse mentioned how strange it was during those last days to be unable to be on the journey with their spouse. They had already begun to experience the separation that only death can bring. After the death, there was rejoicing on the one hand and never-before-experienced pain and sorrow on the other. Rejoicing because their loved one was experiencing unspeakable joy. Pain and sorrow because of the separation that people were never meant to experience. As Bishop Chuck says, “It is not in our DNA. We are not wired for separation.”
I have not personally experienced the death of a spouse. Still, this outsider glimpse of the painful separation of two people in union with each other made me think about our union with Christ and His union with us. If it hurts us so much to be separated from the ones we love, how must He feel to be separated from His lost children? I imagine it is vastly more painful for Him than for us. His love that brought with it the pain of separation drove Him to the Cross. He really meant it when he said it was for the joy set before Him; the joy of being reunited. This is not for Him a new union experience; it is a re-union. He has been feeling the separation all this time and will finally be re-united with His beloved, you and me! The painful separation ends. That is mind-blowing to me!
We begin our lives separated from God. During life, we discover how much we need Him and hopefully fall in love with Him. But all that time, He is experiencing the separation even when we are not aware of it. I guess I thought, “He knows the end, so there is only joy for Him.” God does indeed know how it ends, but I no longer think that keeps separation from being painful for Him. I know where my friend is and that they are experiencing joys beyond my comprehension. However, that does not keep the pain of separation from touching my heart, and it certainly does not keep that pain away from the spouse that is still here. We “do not grieve as the rest of mankind does (1 Thes. 4:13),” but we do acutely feel the pain of separation. Somehow the extent of God’s love is magnified to me in a new way when I get a glimpse of the pain He has endured, and continues to endure, because of separation.
When we experience a death and our relationship with a beloved person is severed, earthly speaking, we as Christians have the opportunity to enter into the suffering of Christ. What do I mean? We have the chance to offer our emotions as a sacrifice to the Lord. We can freely choose to bear the pain of separation for a time while our loved one and Christ are experiencing the unspeakable joy of re-uniting perfectly.
More thoughts on this next time.